Rage Against the Machine

My darling Sir.

I don’t know if you know what you’ve done to me today.

The day started so normal. So…average. I tucked that anticipation of seeing you again away for a time. After all, I need to somewhat focus at work. Tending to the needs of all my furry friends.

I slapped on my scrubs. Tossed my hair into a high pony. Brushed my teeth. Fed my own furry friends. Drove to work.

The morning was slow. My thoughts frequently pulling you into them. Showing me all these delectable fantasies.

My panties were soaking and it wasn’t even lunch. Great.

Sending sneaky texts throughout the day I knew something was coming. Something that I’ve been trying desperately to prepare myself for. (Don’t ask me how it’s been going…I beg you…)

Sure enough. 3:43pm rolls around. My phone vibrates against my leg where it sits so innocently in my pocket.

The video that you sent made my heart falter. My eyes watched, half closed. My mind screaming “Girl you are fucked…”

Fucked is right. That is what I will be December 27th. 12 o’clock pm. That is if we can duck into an airport bathroom as soon as you walk down those steps…

But, I digress.

My mouth is still dry as I watch it over. Trying to comprehend how I am going to keep my toughness scale at the number that it is. Trying to gather my wits. Trying to convince myself that I will not say that word that has yet to pass my lips.

The speed. The…everything. Literally, I am at a loss for words. Adrenaline is already shooting through my veins, along with terror. Raw terror.

I hope you bring your straps my love. There is no way I’ll be sitting still for that one. Sure, I will try my damnedest. I will try for you. I will strive to be your good girl.

You know I would do anything to hear those two words pass your lips. Having them directed at me.

There is not a single greater feeling in the world.

So, my dear. I hope you know that I will not be running away. I like staring into the eyes of a new adversary, and this…machine may be it.

May the rains of adversity fucking pour because I’m ready to dance in the midst of the storm.

I am ready to Rage Against the Machine.

(literally)